Monday, February 23, 2015

Living My 60th Year - Family, Commitments

Yesterday I planned a homemade pizza party with the oldest of my three brothers and his family.  I brought down everything to make the pizzas based on their likes and dislikes, made a big pot of mac and cheese and a salad.  In a word, YUM!

He and my sister-in-law have four kids, ages 13 to 19.  It was part of their Christmas present this past year.  It was time to spend time with them, one on one time, no crowds, bite the bullet and do it.  They are the needy part of my family, thankless most of the time - though I am sure they are thankful, you would never know as you won't be thanked in any recognizable form.  

Yes - I'm sure many families have members that I call the victim part of a family.  It needs to be "all about them", they feel they didn't get opportunities, the world is unfair, yadda yadda yadda. No one knows more than them.  I'm sure you know the type.  It's like a skipping record, same ole story whining on.

Back to the pizza.  Not one of them have ever made pizza before.  It was funny as they tried to stretch the dough into a circle.  There was lots of kidding as odd shaped pizzas were formed, topping added and baked into the most tasty pizzas consumed.   Since we could only bake one or two at a time, that meant they all needed to stay around the kitchen table.  Each of the kids had to show me something they did in school.  An art and sewing projects from the two "little" ones and story about the a presentation on fire safety the oldest nephew is working on.  It was exciting to share in their projects.

Then we get to the oldest child.  This is the first time we have had a 'talk' pretty much ever.  She's in community college but wants to go away to school.  Translated into 'I want out of my parent's home and someone else should pay for it'.  She wants and wants. I tried not to say lots and listen more and even attempted a couple of suggestions of how she could get there.  So far she hasn't make a commitment to taking herself forward.  Let's hope some of the 'talk' rubbed off.

The rest of this week was learning more for me.  There are several difficult individuals on my path at this time and I am questioning my commitment to these organizations.  Many times I am the odd-man out in a group.  I attribute some of it to my 'let's get it done and no, we do not need another committee meeting' personality.  Call it looking for the goals, then backing into today to determine what we need to go forward.  My youngest brother said.... 'hey Pat, there are folks that don't commit  and there are the folks that are committed'.   

So to my current dilemma - taking time to get away from it, taking time to consider my situation, being thoughtful of other points of view, even consulted a couple of close friends for their opinion - it is coming together and I am thinking about me.  My mantra below says it all - do what makes me smile.

With that ---- hope you smile today - it will make you feel great!

Here's to a year of catching the dreams you chase,
doing what makes you smile,
and loving the life you live.

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